Nov 2016 -
I always feel down as I always end up being clumsy. What advice you can give me?
I wanted to be the cool and best kid in class but unfortunately this never goes true. I feel that my friends dont value me and they dont want to be with me. Also I am unable to pay attention academically. Today my teacher asked one question and I was unable to answer which made me feel really down.
Most of us, secretly, want to be “the cool and best kid” around. The very thought make us feel guilty. Yet, we keep trying; on the expense of everything else including our peace of mind. However, not everyone came to this world to become ‘the popular one’, the leader, or the beauty queen. Some of us came to learn to surrender to what is, and accept the reality.
God, in his grace and mercy, helped me to guide three very close people in my life, to get over social exclusion at school, by persuading them to be content about being on their own. This feeling that you’re happy to be on your own adds enigma and attracts people to you. Most popular people are happy people who don’t really care if there’s no one around.
Equip yourself with things to do when you’re out there. Prepare to take with you something interesting to do when you’re sitting; such as reading your favourite book or doodling with shiny pens, etc, so that you don’t appear to be gloomy or miserable as that can be very off putting. Practice meditation at home to still your mind and focus on your studies. You don’t need to wait for the school to give you homework. Take interest in school work in general and make a plan for yourself to study hard, especially in your core subjects, and excel. I know one person at least whose social life benefited from excelling academically. People started liking her a lot because of her overall academic achievements and especially her humility. Spend time to think about the future and the career you want to have and the life you want to lead when you’re a full adult (assuming you’re still a child or a young person). Become ambitious, and invest in that ambition.
Don’t forget that sometimes it’s a blessing to be excluded from the wrong crowd too. The world is at its worst at the moment, and maybe you’re gaining from staying away from the crowd, especially if being with them, means compromising on good values. Being very sociable is also intrusive and can, not only limit your freedom of doing what you want to do, but also takes up your life and gives you very little time for the things that really matter in life, such as working on sharpening real skills. This includes instrument playing, singing, painting, sketching, sports, or just ‘know-they-self’ through mindful meditation. You could also throw yourself in an adventure, investigating spiritual pathways in search for a holy love that can fill your spirit. This can stop you being needy, vulnerable and at the mercy of others. If this love was truly found and embraced, it will strengthen you, emotionally (which means stops depression and mood swings), and cut down on cravings. Your happiness will no longer rely on the world (family members, friends, etc). You will become free.